Saturday, 23 April 2016

Ouch! That Hurt! (When Words Hurt)

"I hate you!"
"I can't believe I ever slept with you, what was I thinking!"
"You're not as pretty as you looked in your picture."
"You didn't make the team"
"You're fired!"
"I don't love you anymore"

These are just examples of words that we have all heard, in one form or another, that have crushed us in the deepest parts of our very soul.

We hope and pray for something only to get one phone call, email or text message that sends us crashing from joy into an abyss of self-pity, anger and shame.

I know that I am not the only one who has been let down, deflated and humiliated by just a few words that someone has spoken. I'd venture to say that my experience is common to every human.
Words are powerful. Very!
We can't control the words that other people speak to us, but, we can control our responses to them and what words we speak in return.
I love this quote I saw today by Dr. Phil... loved it so much that I had to tweet it right away.

"Don't worry about hurting my feelings, because I guarantee you that not one bit of my self-esteem is tied up in your acceptance."

Ah, to be in that place! That place of head-held-high, shoulders squared, 'you-can't-touch-me,' confident self esteem. We've all experienced glimpses of that place, but, let's keep it real, living there requires revelation and some maintenance.

We can't control what others say to us and controlling our response to hurtful words requires some personal growth, what can we control?

We can control what we say to other people!

Learning to control your tongue may very well be one of the most important relationship lessons you can learn.  There is no delete or edit button for the words we speak to those we love. Once we have said it it's out there.

As a teenager, my Mother would constantly drill those words into me, "Laurie, THINK before you Speak!"  
At the time, I had no idea what a profound lesson she was trying to teach me. We can feel invincible, especially in our youth. We say what we feel and what we think without considering the price of our words.
Imagine if we all learned that lesson early in life; before our first job, first leadership role, first love and may I be daring enough to say our first marriage.
We have all said things we regret. Some have said wrong things years ago and are still paying for it. Words are very hard to erase from someone's memory. You can protect your future and show value for your relationships by simply watching your words.

How do we do it? How do we "think before we speak?" How do we demonstrate value for others by our words?

It all starts with what's on the inside of us. Luke 6:35 (NLT)says, "A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart."

This tells me that in order for me to consistently speak words of life and kindness, I will need to develop those character traits on the inside of me. Doesn't sound like the easy way out, does it? Well, it isn't if we approach it by our flesh. By our flesh, making changes is hard, however, we aren't ruled by that. II Cor. 5:17 (NLT) says, "This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!"
The key to watching our tongue is our connection to Christ.
Bottom line, be careful what you say to others and what you say about yourself. The more positive we speak,the more positive we will experience.
If you are one of those people whom after reading this is saying, "Nobody is going to control me! I'm gonna speak my mind!" ... then control your thoughts. (Phil. 2:5)
According to Pastor Michael Rowan, If you guard your THOUGHTS you won't have to guard your WORDS!!
"The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences." Proverbs18 :21 (NLT)
"Wise words satisfy like a good meal; the right words bring satisfaction." Proverbs 18:20 (NLT)

Finally, my prayer for you is that you receive wisdom from God to know when to shut your mouth and save yourself from embarrasing situations. Prov. 21:23'


  1. This is a very powerful article ma. As a matter of fact, words are powerful. You don't see words but it controls your life. Just as a rudder is to a ship, so also is our tongue to our life.

    It's one of the smallest organs of your body but it's the engine or power house of your life. In as much as man was created by words, situations are created by words. So, speak right and have the right situations come your way.

  2. Awesome! Fantastic! gr8 words... The part that caught me the most, was when you mentioned thought "... I'm gonna speak my mind!" ... then control your thoughts. (Phil. 2:5)"

    Thoughts are like programmes installed on a PC and words are ways you run them.

    For me, this was when u nailed it "According to Pastor Michael Rowan, If you guard your THOUGHTS you won't have to guard your WORDS!!"

    "And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.
    Philippians 4:8 NLT"

    Thank You so much. We need to hear more of this kind of thought provoking article.

    #mindrenewing #brilliant #inspiringwords


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