.
- Navigating relationships
with your extended family and in laws can be challenging.
- It's important that you
have open communication with your spouse regarding their families.
- Proper boundaries are
essential for the success of any relationship.
- Discuss with your spouse
and agree on all financial commitments to extended family before you make
them. Amos 3:3
- The husband and wife are a
unit and need to be treated as such.
- It's important that you
don't allow extended family to break the husband /wife alliance. Mk 10:9
- Avoid keeping secrets from
your spouse about your commitments to your extended family. Eph 4:25
- Dishonesty never produces
good fruit in a marriage.
- Decide together the role
that you wish your extended family to have in your children's lives
- Grandparents play a vital
role in a child's life.
- Don't deprive your child
of his grandparents simply because of disagreements.
- Avoid spoiling your
children's opinion of extended family
- Don't tell your children
negative stories about your in laws. They'll be unfairly forced to choose.
- As much as possible, be at
peace with all men. Heb 12:14
- If peace is your goal, you
will use wisdom to avoid volatile circumstances with extended family
- Your extended family
relationship is yours. It doesn't have to mimic your neighbors
- Avoid the comparison game,
thinking that others have it better than you. 2 Cor 10:12
- Before you marry, be aware
of the kind of family you are marrying into.
- Don't gossip about your
spouse's family to your family or friends. Prov 16:28
- When things are less than
perfect, take it before the Lord in prayer. Phil 4:6
- Don't underestimate God's
power to intervene in your extended family relationships
- Humble yourself and submit
to the various requirements of your extended family, so long as it doesn't
compromise your faith.
- If there's something
important to your extended family that you do, try to do it, so long as
you have agreement with your spouse.
- Publicly praise your in
laws and you'll score points with your spouse.
- Don't play your spouse
against their parents. Avoid ultimatums.
- Be flexible, willing to
bend where needed, but not a doormat.
- Husbands, defend your wife
with your family.
- Husbands, don't let your
wife sort out her own matters with your family. Join her and take the
lead.
- Wives, think before you
speak.
- Wives, your husband deeply
wants you to embrace his family and culture. Do your best.
- According to a newly
released study by Focus on the Family, men who are on good terms with
their wives' parents are more likely to enjoy a long-lasting marriage.
- Orbuch says that when a
man bonds with his in-laws, his wife gets the message that "your
family is important to me because you're important to me. I want to feel
closer to them because I want to be closer to you." Wives love that
and marriages get a longevity bump.
- Are the in law, looking
for advice on how to navigate the relationship?
- Here's a link with some
great advice: http://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/communication-and-conflict/inlaw-relationships/advice-for-an-inlaw
- According to Focus on the
Family, here are some tips on how to have a civil relationship with your
inlaws:
- Civility Tips for Relating
to In-Laws:
I. Be proactive. Do what you can to build the relationship.
II. Don't compete with other family members.
III. Refocus your perspective by looking for the positive.
IV. Accept reality.
Feel free to add your
own views on this topic with the hashtag #FamilyLifeSimplified on twitter, or
in the comment box below.
Thank you and God bless you and give you the grace to put
these points into practice, where necessary; in order to bring about every
needed positive change in your relationship with your extended family.
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