Saturday, 10 December 2016


My Parents went out shopping last week and sent us these meaningful ornaments to add to our collection on the Christmas tree.  Just seeing them has made me realize that there are so many beautiful new experiences to be had and so much to be grateful for. I'm quite certain that when the boys hang them on the Christmas Tree, they will be all smiles!

One tough thing about the holidays is that festive seasons bring up emotions and heartache that most of us have locked away all year long.   Most of the year, we are able to scale through life with our busy schedules and long to do lists, all the while pushing  those feelings that slow our pace and make us reflective into a world of oblivion.

Allowing sad and reflective emotions to come to the surface can be very inconvenient and disruptive to our groove.  Most of us prefer to put on the big smile for the world to see, even though just a few layers below the surface, we are dying of grief, confusion, pain, guilt and regret.

Recently, my son and I had one of those unexpected reflective moments spring up and carry us down the road of tears and deep discussion.  Feb, my 8 year old, was helping his brothers and I decorate the Christmas tree when he stumbled upon a tree ornament that was given to him in 2008, the year he was born, by my grandmother. His great grandmother a.k.a. "Momo" sadly passed on a few years ago to breast cancer. Feb Jr read the inscription on the ornament and tears started rolling down his tender cheeks. He turned to me and said, "I really miss her."  We held each other and cried as we talked about Momo and how much she meant to our lives and family. Momo wasn't your typical grandmother. She was quirky, fun and even a bit ornery. Her personality was second to none. She was an independent, opinionated woman who never cared a bit about what anyone thought.  (I wonder if I got some of my obstinate nature from her.)

Later that evening, my youngest son, Judah noticed that Feb Jr. was still feeling a bit low. He tried to console his big brother in the best way a 3 year old knows to do. Adorably, he put on his doctor costume and brought out his pretend injection and blood pressure cuff trying to heal Feb's broken heart. I explained to Feb that Judah doesn't understand why he is crying. I reminded him that Judah was just a newborn baby when Momo went to heaven. Just when I felt that this family moment couldn't get any deeper, Feb Jr. looked at me with deep sincerity in his eyes and said, "Mommy, I never want Judah to know the pain of losing someone."

It broke my heart, but, I couldn't agree with him more. The last thing we want on earth is to share the pain of loss with the people we love. It seems like the world would be a better place if we could eliminate loss and pain from our lives, however, we would be depriving ourselves of a deep experience necessary for the complex nature of the human soul.

God gave us all the emotions and feelings that we have. Don't be afraid to explore the deeper ones this holiday and like Feb Jr. and I, allow the tears to roll down your cheeks. Tears have a beautiful way of healing our pain from the inside out. The depth of hurt needs to be released. Bottling up hurt only creates destructive pathways for it to come out which can look like anger or even hatred.

While you will certainly laugh, and relish the beautiful moments this holiday, I encourage you to also allow healing to flood your heart and life by unlocking some of those areas you have suppressed all year long. A wound must be exposed and cleaned in order for it to heal properly.

For those of us who have lost someone this year, my prayers are most especially with you. May God comfort you and your family and give you the peace and understanding that can only come from the Prince of Peace.

After all, the reason we celebrate Christmas is because God the Father needed to bring the world back to Himself from the  broken and confused  place it was in.

Isaiah 9

6 For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counselor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace.

May the Prince of Peace cover and comfort you this year. Merry Christmas.

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