Monday, 3 July 2017

Ten Years After Ben

Today is the ten year anniversary of the birth of our first son, Andrew Benson Osarumen Victor Elijah Idahosa a.k.a. "Big Ben" or "ABOVE."

Sadly, our son lived until July 4th, just 12 short hours after he was born. He impacted our lives in immeasurable ways and will always be remembered as our first son, first child and as an important part of the script of our family.

It is hard to capture that a decade has already passed. Ten years later, the tears still leak from my eyes when we see the dates of July 3rd and 4th.  I've looked through the limited physical memories that we have held onto from his short life  and I'm thankful for the nurses in  Christiana Hospital, Newark, Delaware. They collected these precious memories for us, knowing that we would need something physical to remember him by. 

Because of God's Abundant Grace, the deep pain of our loss has been retooled into purpose.  On a regular basis, we use our pain to share Ben's story with others who suffer from infertility and infant loss. I have  peace of heart and mind and can see that God's hand has been with our family, every step of the way.

We are grateful to have been blessed with three miracle children since our loss. Having more children never erases our memory of the one you lose. We will always remember Ben and have the constant narrative in our minds of "what if there were 4 boys instead of three." 

For every one of you who has lost a child, an infant, a pregnancy or whom have suffered a stillbirth, you are in our thoughts and prayers. May the God who has enveloped us in His loving arms of comfort fill your hearts with peace. May God give you understanding in your moments of questions. May He replace your grief with joy and give you reasons to see His hand at work in your lives and families. May He give you opportunities to share with others who are hurting so that your healing will be complete. 

It seems inappropriate to say happy birthday to a child who is deceased, but, Happy Birthday Ben (III). We are grateful to God that you lived and taught us that everything is ordained for God's glory, no matter how difficult or painful. 


  1. I still remember that day sis. I find great joy in knowing that our son Elijah has gotten to know Ben in Heaven. But even GREATER joy in knowing that they are both with Jesus and the patiently wait to see us! Love you guys dearly! In Christ, Lou and Keisha Johnson

  2. We just lost our third baby in May. She only lived a few minutes. Our other two babies were totally healthy so it was a shock. I pray every day God will use this for good but sometimes it's hard so I was encouraged to read your testimony.


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